We bring you the best of the day's writing from Fleet Street's finest in the Paper Round.
This week, Daniel Harris will mostly be launching well-aimed invective at men monikered Alan.
Jermain Defoe dazzled with five goals against Wigan. Will he be climbing the rankings soon?
All the pictures as Chelsea beat Manchester United and Hull boss Phil Brown keeps his job.
Real edged the Madrid derby as Barcelona hit four against Mallorca in La Liga - see the pics.
Mark Stewart scored a late leveller for Falkirk against Celtic in the Scottish Premier League.
