352 players, 84 goals, 31 games, 23 days, 16 teams, 10 red cards, two hat-tricks, a one minute cameo from Mateja Kezman and zero explanation from Kevin Keegan as to why England were pants. All now consigned to history.

Just like a blazing comet - or at least that 1970's TV advert for Twix, if you can remember that far back - Euro 2000 was great while it lasted, but in the end it was all over too quickly.

All of which leaves us with some random awards on the occasion of the end of Euro 2000.

Worst Hair Award
This was very nearly an entire column about hair, it's uses and abuses, and the impact it can have on a football team. In particular, three hair no-no's.

Firstly, the invidious spread of the hair-band. When Christophe Dugarry uses one to keep his curly locks out of his eyes, that's fine (though not something you would ever have caught Trevor Hockey doing). But to see short-haired Francesco Totti wearing a hair-band - or to be more specific an alice-band - is to weep at the loss of a certain masculinity on the football field. Like Robbie Fowler's nasal strips, Totti's face furniture serves no apparent purpose other than to make him look silly.

	The offending mullet (BRadford/Allsport)

Secondly, players whose names begin with 'Z' have more problems with their hair than most. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Zinedine Zidane (frankly, not enough hair) and Zlatko Zahovic (just too much of the stuff). I rest my case.

Thirdly, and most importantly, Portugal, and the real reason why the Portuguese - so exciting to watch - HAD to lose. What kind of example were they setting to the youth of today? And I'm not referring to Nuno Gomes (Totti-esque reliance on hair-band), not to Rui Costa (does he cut his own hair? without using a mirror?), nor even Neptune himself, Abel Xavier, the be-bleached Everton defender.

No, the worst haircut at Euro 2000 belonged to Michael Bolton-a-like Fernando Couto. The man with the mullet. Purveyor of the hockey haircut. Loser.

Best Hair Award
How can he play in the same team as them? Take a bow - not to mention a rinse, some conditioner and an hour in the salon - Joao Pinto.

Revelation of Euro 2000 Award
People who are naturally left-footed can play football. Just one of those things you forget when you watch too much football in England. That some of the leading left-wingers come from countries of the former Eastern Bloc - Miran Pavlin of Slovenia, Ljubinko Drulovic of Yugoslavia - has a pleasing symmetry for students of the game.

Best Young Player Award
No Englishmen were eligible for this award, as they were all on the lash in Aya Napa.

In their absence, Sebastian Deisler of Germany didn't quite set the tournament alight, John Arne Riise didn't get a look-in for Norway and 17-year-old Tomas Gustafsson of Sweden turned out to be the 27-year-old victim of a typing error here at Soccernet!

Romania's Adrian Mutu had the best tournament of any youngster - and lest we forget he has his sights on the vacancy in that team left by the retirement of Gheorghe Hagi.

We'll Not See Their Like Again Award
Talking of Hagi, we say goodbye to a number of hoary old dinosaurs after Euro 2000. Shearer, Matthaeus, Blanc, Stojkovic... great players all, they will be missed. But the one I am looking forward to seeing the back of is not a player, so much as the description of Hagi as 'the Maradona of the Carpathians'. We'll never have to see those words in that order again. Yippee.

Expectoration Award
That's spitting, to you and me. Sportsmen and women do it all the time, but a particularly phlegmy Fabien Barthez drew admiring glances and all was set for a special mention. Until the Italians conceded their first penalty against Holland in the semi-final. Did you see Alessandro Nesta* take aim at the referee's backside? Not with his boot - though he must have wanted to - but with the next best thing. Hope the ref had a change of shorts at half-time.
(*Dear Alessandro - if this wasn't you, sorry!)

Comedy Moment Award (TV)
Moments like that are lost on the crowd in the ground itself. They are the special reserve of those watching on TV. And as that's how most people managed to see most games, we must pay special attention to the classic TV moments. (Unless you're reading this in the States, in which case chances are you followed the games right here at Soccernet. Lucky you).

Early in the second half of the Final itself, a TV replay showed the tackle on Zinedine Zidane. And yes, I mean 'tackle' in both senses. That's one clip which will pop out regularly in 'bloopers' shows from now on. Outstanding.

Comedy Moment Award (football)
3: Almost anything involving Belgium's 'goalkeeper' Filip de Wilde;
2: Frank De Boer's first penalty in the first semi-final;
1: Frank De Boer's second...

What? Were They Actually There? Award
Denmark, at all. Premiership leading scorer Kevin Phillips. And, in the Final, Zinedine Zidane...

Least Likely To Catch On (Hopefully) Award
Norwegian attacking flair? Dutch penalty training? These will all last longer - I hope - than the slo-mo action replays beloved of Dutch and Belgian television directors. If you've seen Laurent Blanc kiss Barthez' head once, you've seen it 1000 times - and you certainly don't want to see it rreeeeaallyy ssllooooowwllyy for good measure.

Game of the Tournament Award
3: France-Italy - the Final that finally delivered? No: we just wanted it to be great.
2: Spain-Yugoslavia - 'the game that had it all'? No: all the drama was in the last three minutes.
1: Slovenia-Yugoslavia - yes: hope, dreams, triumph against all odds, a comeback, great skills, clodhoppers, national pride, embarrassment, despair. And in the end, we learned that all men are equal. Not a bad lesson for the great game of life.

	No 8? No - he's No.1 (BRadford/Allsport)

And finally, folks, it's the Player of the Tournament Award
Zidane - that man again - and Luis Figo were the fulcrums of the best two footballing sides. They are entertainers in the best sense, with tricks up their sleeve and vision that other, mere mortal players, can never hope to repeat.

But the outstanding footballer... for his passion and work-rate and determination (all those so-called English virtues now being rubbished by pundits everywhere), together with sublime skill and, yes, great hair... for all that and more, the outstanding player of Euro 2000 was Edgar Davids.

Any more awards we should be handing out? Let us know with an e-mail to letters@soccernet.com