Bayern Munich turn into FC Hollywood again

One suspected it was bound to happen. Every year we are presented with a new edition of the internal drama at Bayern Munich. It's a phenomenon that takes place frequently at Saebener Strasse and leaves the club's management in sheer disillusion and the fans in astonishment while blood-thirsty journalists start sharpening their pens.

GettyImages

Philipp Lahm looks dejected as Bayern draw with Schalke

The club's off-field dramas in particular have led the German media to dub Bayern 'FC Hollywood', a name that seems justified on the basis of the internal squabbles that every year prevent a star-studded Bayern squad from reaching their full potential.

"We got the name FC Hollywood a couple of years ago when Giovanni Trapattoni was in charge," said German legend and club director Karl-Heinz Rummenigge in 1998 when Bayern allowed Ottmar Hitzfeld to take over the reins from "Il Trap". "He was a very sympathetic coach but unfortunately there was a lot of trouble. People started saying that Bayern was like a daily soap opera. This was not a positive image for the club, so we decided to replace Trapattoni."

Plenty of managers have since occupied the hot seat at the former Champions League winners but the image of the Bavarian theatre still rests with the club, and it is certainly not difficult to see why the media absolutely loves the comparison with the glitter and glamour but also the excessive arrogance and constant back-stabbing that characterises the American movie industry. In fact, you only have to take a look at the events that unfolded last week in relation to Bayern's disappointing 1-1 home draw with FC Schalke 04 to see why the comparison fits.

Bayern's vice-captain Philipp Lahm was disciplined after he launched an astonishing attack on the club, coach Louis van Gaal and his fellow players in Sueddeutche Zeitung, his words earning him a fine of around £26,000, while a Bayern statement asserted that Lahm had broken an "absolute taboo" in voicing his views publicly. At the same time, wantaway striker Toni was also fined, having stormed out of the Allianz Arena after being substituted at half-time during the draw against Schalke, an act deemed "unacceptable" by the club.

Lahm's words must have cut through the Bayern faithful's hearts like a knife through butter. Lahm attacked the club's ruling aristocracy and their recent Real Madrid-esque transfer policy - while not sparing his team-mates and his coach from his savage attack.

"If you want to compete with Barcelona, Chelsea, Manchester United, then Bayern needs a playing philosophy," said Lahm. "That has to be the goal of the club. In the past, the transfers were not always very successful. Clubs like Manchester or Barcelona have a system and then you buy personnel for the system. You bring specific players and then you have a team. Something like that doesn't exist here. The club has to say, 'When a new coach comes, this is how we play'.

"We have many players that have no position now in a 4-3-3 system that our coach would like to use, for example our strikers. We have really good forwards but if you play 4-3-3, two or three of them are always on the bench. If you buy Mario Gomez, then you have to say, okay, we play with two strikers. We played the entire pre-season with two strikers. And then suddenly, we get (Arjen) Robben, a great player who fits with us - and who prefers the 4-3-3 system. You can't simply buy players because they are good."

Coming from a man who is normally so calm and collected, Lahm's words clearly exposed the atmosphere of a club in immense turmoil. Ironically this is far from the image that Bayern project in their dealings with UEFA - the administrative and controlling body for European Football.

"There is no doubt that Bayern is perhaps the most organised club in Europe and also the world," a source at UEFA told ESPN Soccernet. "To deal with Bayern is always smooth sailing and we have a fantastic co-operation with the club. You never have to worry too much about logistical problems or matters related to the organisation of Champions League matches with Bayern. There's a clear line of communication and everyone knows what he or she must do. It's a very modern, transparent organisation that sets the standards for many, many other clubs, also in terms of leadership."

GettyImages

Louis van Gaal has suggested Luca Toni is no longer part of his plans

But while the Bavarians excel in putting on an impressive organisational spectacle for the UEFA bosses, a number of factors seem to go against the club's desire to restore order within their own ranks. And while you are at it, you might as well start at the top. Over the years, chairman of the board Franz Beckenbauer has gained legendary status, not only in Germany but all over the world, and his wisdom is hardly ever challenged. But his wisdom can be a liability for the club as he certainly doesn't shy away from criticising his own manager and players in his role as a pundit for German tabloid paper Bild.

Despite pumping 75 million euros into the transfer market in the summer, the club has dropped to eighth place in the Bundesliga, while their Champions League campaign hangs by a thread. As the world's third largest club with no less than 135,000 members, Bayern are constantly kept under close scrutiny by the media and their over-excessive spending on stars to satisfy the press and the fans is often at the expense of a clear football philosophy (as also clearly stated by Lahm).

Like so many other times, the result is obvious. With so many stars gathered in one place, egos start clashing and players start complaining. A good example is the situation for the strikers. Not many coaches would complain with a star ensemble like Miroslav Klose, Ivica Olic, Luca Toni and Mario Gomez at their disposal. But with Van Gaal's insistence on sticking with his typical Dutch 4-3-3 tactical philosophy, this basically only leaves space for one striker up front, since none of the four functions well as a winger.

To direct the Bavarian theatre at Bayern demands enormous authority. Van Gaal has this authority but his doctrine has so far failed to work its magic in a place where so many other coaching icons before him have fallen short. Van Gaal's task will ultimately be to turn Bayern into a solid unit, but this task starts in the boardroom and if Van Gaal is short of support on that front, his fate is doomed.

The former Bayern coach Ottmar Hitzfeld, currently manager of the Swiss national squad, explained the challenge when he reprimanded Oliver Kahn for leaving a Christmas party early: "I had to set an example so everyone at Bayern knows how they're expected to behave. Otherwise, this club will turn into a madhouse."

Given Van Gaal's poor reputation for installing harmony within his ranks, the question remains whether the Dutchman is in over his head as he attempts to turn FC Hollywood away from the realms of soap opera.