- Share
Thirteen - Cologne Klungel
It's a long story, like these things always are, but the German term "Klungel" comes from the same stem as the English "cling". Thus it has to do with sticking together, which is why it originally meant a knot or a bundle. Until the inhabitants of Cologne got hold of the word, that is, because they changed the meaning to denote kith and kin, family.

This is the story behind an expression every German knows: Kolscher Klungel - Cologne Klungel. It's usually defined as a local form of nepotism, though this explanation falls somewhat short. For one, because the term also has positive connotations, such as friendship, or better: loyalty.
Second, because many people who happen to come from somewhere else now use this expression rather freely to describe bizarre goings-on on the shores of the river Rhine that utterly mystify strangers. In other words, whenever something happens in Cologne that doesn't appear to make any sense whatsoever, you can just shake your head ever so briefly, smile and say: 'Well, that's Kolscher Klungel for you.'
And you would have done that on Sunday at 2.49pm. That was when Cologne FC president and club legend Wolfgang Overath, having opened the annual general assembly of club members nine minutes earlier by saying "My club is Cologne FC," declared that he and the rest of the board would step down.
Trust this club to grab the headlines even during an international break and two days before a much-anticipated game between rivals Germany and Holland! And headlines Overath's departure did make, as it had been entirely unexpected. Friedrich Neukirch, vice-president and as such a member of the board, later explained why nothing had leaked out: "We didn't want to kick up a breeze before the meeting, that's why we didn't speak with any of the club panels."
In a way, this statement was emblematic of one of the problems at the root of the dispute that led to the board's and Overath's demission. Over the last couple of years, the board had come under heavy criticism from some of the club's members, in part because they felt the board was running the club in an aloof and autocratic manner. This led to the formation of a pressure group called "FC:Reloaded" that demanded a change of the club's statutes to give the members more influence.
Another criticism levelled at Overath and his men was that the club had not made any progress in sporting terms since he became the president in 2004. At the time, Overath said his plan was to qualify for Europe within four years, but the seven years since have seen eight different coaches (plus two interim coaches), three different business managers (or directors of football, as the post was renamed in late 2010) and a series of relegation fights.
There are some observers who considered both charges unreasonable, arguing that things will be even more chaotic when members try to run a professional club and that expecting Cologne to challenge for honours borders on having delusions of grandeur (the latter is an accusation regularly levelled at the club's support).
Be that as it may, the matter came to a head during the 2010 general assembly. Cologne had just lost 4-0 at home to fierce rivals Monchengladbach and were in last place, so the meeting was predictably tumultuous. Overath and the other members of the board were loudly criticised, not always in a proper manner, and the members voted not to exonerate the board of their responsibility for the previous fiscal year. This - basically a technicality having to do with German club law - amounted to a vote of no confidence and deeply hurt Overath.
You can call that thin-skinned, but the beginning of the 2011 meeting made clear that tempers were still flaring. Overath, suffering from a cold, made a strange noise before beginning his speech - whereupon one of the members yelled: "Yeah, go ahead and weep!" And when Overath then looked back at the 2010 meeting, saying that he had been "insulted and vilified by a small group only, I know the others aren't like that," there were boos and someone shouted: "Step down!"
It proved to be an unexpectedly prophetic heckle.
Believe it or not, but that was the civil part of the afternoon. After the president had made his announcement, most of the rest of the meeting became a shouting match between the pro-Overath camp and the "FC:Reloaded" group. At 6.56pm, a member declared Cologne were just "a carnival club" and three minutes later brawls broke out in two different corners of the assembly hall.

And suddenly quite a lot of eyes will be on a seemingly rather mundane clash between Cologne and Mainz on Saturday, despite the fact Bayern play Dortmund and Monchengladbach meet Bremen - meaning the top four sides play among themselves - on the very same day. The Cologne players certainly have some experience as regards performing in the shadow of boardroom upheaval and internal strife, but it'll be interesting to see how Lukas Podolski copes.
After all, the team's biggest, perhaps its only, star has now lost two men he liked and trusted very much - first coach Frank Schaefer, now Overath - and is known as a player who needs a harmonious environment to blossom. It's probably over-interpretation, but Podolski had a quiet, subdued game against Holland, while all around him the German attack dazzled, delighting the Hamburg crowd.
Bayern's coach Jupp Heynckes, incidentally, will have been as thrilled by the Holland game as the fans. For one, national coach Joachim Low achieved the prestigious 3-0 win against Germany's eternal rivals even though he rested both Philipp Lahm and Mario Gomez. Second, two of the best players on the night were Toni Kroos, in splendid form pretty much since the season started, and Thomas Muller, while the defence, built around Holger Badstuber, Jerome Boateng and goalkeeper Manuel Neuer, kept yet another clean sheet against notable (and normally goal-hungry) opposition.
However, at least one of them will have a major challenge ahead of him even before he meets second-placed Dortmund at the weekend. On Thursday, Manuel Neuer will be a contestant on the celebrity edition of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
