Patrick Kluivert finds sanctuary in a pine forest, ringed by razor wire and patrolled by grey-suited security guards, murmuring into mini-microphones.

When he emerges today, to launch Holland's Euro 2000 programme against the Czech Republic in the Amsterdam Arena, he will be assailed by the paradoxes of a turbulent life.

The Barcelona striker is a role model, responsible for the death of a fellow human being. He is the focus of a nation's expectations, the object of its lingering disapproval. Little wonder that, to justify himself, he espouses a thoroughly modern form of therapy, the Oprah Winfrey Show.

'I was watching Oprah interview Sidney Poitier the other day,' he said with disarming enthusiasm. 'He put my feelings into perfect words.

'He said: "I'm a normal guy in an extraordinary world". That's me. I'm only 23, the father of two, but everyone knows I have had a lot of problems in my life.

'I know what mistakes I have made. I don't walk away from them, and I know I will be remembered for them. I have done incredible harm to people, and will be haunted by that for the rest of my life.'

Kluivert, whose sons are aged under three, killed a prominent Dutch theatre director when he was at the wheel of a speeding, uninsured, BMW. He was accused of being one of five men involved in a gang rape. After admitting to consensual group sex with the girl, he spent two years under police investigation before charges were eventually dropped.

He evokes little sympathy, less respect, but will still be hailed as a national treasure if he is the catalyst of a championship-winning team. 'Life has made me harder,' he admitted. 'People have said and written things about me that I cannot understand. They say I am a bad father. Who can judge that? Isn't everyone allowed to learn from their mistakes?

'I now realise I am an example to young kids all around the world. I have to bring up my own children, guide them through the world. To do that I had to grow up myself.'

Football has mirrored his rite of passage. Kluivert cringes at memories of the posters, plastered around England during Euro 96. They featured him, leering into the lens, above the slogan 'Venables. Quit now.' The image was stark, self-destructive. England thrashed Holland 4-1 at Wembley, and Kluivert was typecast as an under-achiever.

His new promotional campaign is softer, less assertive. It evokes his childhood, as the son of a Surinamese immigrant who sacrificed his footballing ambitions by becoming a postman to feed a growing family.

He cites his father Kenneth - 'I have his talent' - as a pivotal influence. But, in footballing terms, Dennis Bergkamp is his father figure.

'I have always been too ambitious, too eager,' he said. 'I am trying not to force things, to remain calm. I have learned from Dennis's approach to the game. We don't need lengthy discussions. We understand each other without exchanging many words.

'We have wanted to be the best attacking partnership in the world ever since we first played together, in 1995. But it takes time for a beautiful flower to open. We were meant to be dream partners at Euro 96, but I was injured. I was impatient, and thought only of myself. The bad atmosphere within the team destroyed our ambitions.

'It felt as if something was developing between us during the World Cup in 1998, but we were not quite the finished article. Dennis was brilliant, but we went out without losing. Brazil beat us on penalties but we played the best football in the competition.

'There are two fundamental differences in Euro 2000. The first is that playing in my home country gives me extra motivation. The expectations in me and the team are so high. We cannot afford to miss out.

'The second is that I am more serene. That is due to the way I have developed at Barcelona. This has been my best season. I have become a better player there. I am the main striker, and the whole team are there to deliver the ball to me. I feel in control, settled.'

He is the one Dutchman Barcelona dare not lose, despite enduring rumours of Manchester United's interest in his availability, in the aftermath of Louis van Gaal's resignation.

'I don't want to be the big star,' Kluivert insisted. 'The team comes first. You can see that in my relationship with (Dutch coach) Frank Rijkaard.

'I am not like Frank de Boer or Edgar Davids. They are the players he talks to, listens to. For the moment I like to be in the shadows, working with Dennis. I watch him and think: "God Almighty, you are brilliant . . ." '

Kluivert's smile was unforced, enlightening. Out there in the forest, away from prying eyes, the ego has finally landed.

Nedved fit for Czechs